“Chopping Mall” (1986) Where Shopping Costs You an Arm and a Leg

Recently I’ve been wanting to dive into the 80s realm of classic B rated horror movies. Most of the titles I haven’t even heard of, but when I was watching one of my favorite film reviewers on YouTube, Cody Leach, talk about “Chopping Mall” in one of his recent videos I was instantly hooked in wondering what this movie even is.

So what is “Chopping Mall” you ask? Well if you haven’t heard of the movie, it’s about three robots in a shopping mall invented to catch robbers at night who break into the mall. The robots stun them until authorities arrive to the scene.

In the film, one late evening, a group of teenagers decide they want to stay in the mall late to have a party. A quite sexual party if you ask me (but isn’t this usually how horror movies go?) The teens are coupled up and one couple, is set up on their first date. So this is the first time they are ever meeting each other.

While they are all having their fun hiding out in the furniture store, the robots go havoc and turn murderous. You heard me right, murderous. One by one each character get killed off, in frankly, unexpected ways. And you always know when it might happen.

*cues music*

Every time a robot appears, this cheesy theme music that doesn’t fit the “menacing” look of the robots plays. And it is HILARIOUS!

Characters get strangled, and even one gal’s head explodes into a million pieces. But, that was not the best kill of the entire film.

My absolute favorite was when the janitor cleaning the mall got killed by the robots. He was cleaning up vomit from some child in the mall, I’m sure, and the robot accidentally electrocutes him from the puddle on the floor. The way the scene was executed it didn’t seem purposeful because the robot misses the janitor himself, it makes the viewer think, huh, maybe this was a freak accident. What really made this scene for me was the special effects of the electrocution taking place itself. It doesn’t look real, and maybe that’s why I couldn’t help but laugh while watching this scene.

But I guess that’s 80s special effects for yah.

Oh  — also — the way the robot says “Thank you, have a nice day” after a person dies just gets me. It’s hilarious sarcasm the way the robot uses this phrase and the fact that the robot isn’t even scary makes it that much funnier.

Now let’s get into that topic of how scary the robots are real quick.

From the very beginning, the robots shown aren’t even that scary. They just look like a basic line of machinery from the bottom up and look indestructible. I think they were trying to get the robots to look menacing from the red light in their eyes, but that didn’t really get the job done for me. Between their arms basically just extending and somehow being sharp enough to pierce skin, and the terrible special effects of the lazers — all you can do is laugh.

But, it wasn’t just the robots that made the film funny,

The acting was clearly overdone considering they were screaming constantly and really didn’t seem all that scared. It seemed like the actors were trying TOO hard. I’m not sure if this was an acting thing or the fact that it was a B horror film but I guess I expected more.

The plot also dragged on quite a bit to where I actually got bored during the movie. If the character development was stronger, maybe I would’ve been a bit more invested in the storyline.

Overall this film was built on cheese. With a capital CHEESE all the way through. I wasn’t even scared, I just laughed. And I must say, it made the movie quite charming. I don’t know if I necessarily will watch the film again, and because of this realization I am giving this film a 2 out of 5 stars.

What are your thoughts on “Chopping Mall,” do you enjoy how cheesy the film was? Do you think the robots are scary? What was your favorite scene in the movie?  

Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!